"We Are in the in Between:"

   Existential. Everything is nothing and I'm sunk inside. Sprawled across the thoughts that consume me. Vulnerable. Walking on the edge of the blade that killed me. My emotions. Dead like trees. But not.  Because I feel everything. When the sun rises red red rose and I am alone with only my stupid thoughts and they all revolve around you. And you're keeping it all going. Me. This delicate balance of acting and masking and hiding. But you know me better than anyone. And you know what lies beneath my skin. Crack my ribs wide away.  Expose. Expose the red red heart because it's yours and it always was.  But you'll never notice. Because you're too far gone.
  This problem's gonna last, more than you'll ever see. I'll divide into a million little pieces.  Because my dark has consumed me, body and soul.

   And I know this seems so much like lies. Like a story made up by my fingertips. But I couldn't write unless it were true.  And your lips are softer still. And how I laid in your bed at 3 in the morning because I had no home. But your arms.

  My ship has gone down in sight of land. And I know you're coming in the night like a dream.  Because sleep is the only time you're mine.


Dear Boy:

   The faith in your eyes, and me in your hands, that night in the dark quiet, was the most my life ever meant.


 But now I am the most perfect insomniac. My heart is a machine.