Back in Hell:

Originally written on the plane, May 3 2010.

  The life I've been dreaming of may be starting.  All these thoughts are racing through my head. Jumping to what I'd pack, and what I'd leave behind. I'm sitting on this airplane, smiling like an idiot. Not much to my name. New York is amazing, my cousins are amazing.  Remember: send them a huge thank you. Remember to call work. Remember how you feel right now.  I could very well be driving back this way in two and a half weeks if god is on my side. My head is literally in the clouds. 45,000 feet up. My head's on straight. No, I don't have much money. Yes, I have debt. Money comes and goes. And this may be my one chance to get out and live. Not just go through the motions. Zombiella. Dreams are made on perseverance and timing. I can't help but think, this is it for me. New York. Let's hear it for New York. For luck, life, love, and all things in between. I can't get the Chinatown grease off my skin, or the house on Grove Street from my mind's eye. The giggles from babies out of my ears. I'm not giving it up. My life. I'm 22. I'm ready for this. Saratoga Springs, summers, winters, and falls. It's for me. Call it magic, call it fate, or destiny or simply timing. It's all true. It's all right, alright? I can do this.  Paul and Abra are saying it's okay. Even if, at first I can't pay rent. I can clean, clean. I can teach the girls to swim. Save pennies from Heaven. I found god in the city.  Waiting to show me the light. If this plane goes down, I've made my peace, but I know it won't. I've got to get back to New York. God's work, I think. Call me crazy, call me idealistic. I'll answer to the latter. But I know in my heart of hearts. This is where I belong. My name is Sarah Christine McIver. And I Heart New York.

Flying over corn fields and wheat. Sleeping to pass the time. Only sleep leads to restlessness. My mind is busy. What time is it? I'm getting closer to the familiar, and farther from what feels like home. If you knew...Only if. Just agree. I'm questioning time zones. I promise you I never knew I could.  So many questions, although we all agree. New York is calling.