In one week I'll be an Arkansas darling. Sassy and classy, with eyes wide and so much at my feet. Ain't nothin' pleases me more than knowing the stress I'm under today will not be here then. I have to get used to terms like "ya'll" and "howdy." Southern drawl, walking tall, anything but this spinning.
Ally ways and flat lands. I got a lot to learn.
Home is not here now. I have a 2 bed/2 bath waiting for me.
It's sinking in that this is it. I'm already lost without Kaiti and Lauren. I'm spinning into nothingness, only to be spit out in Little Rock. With each day I'm more terrified of the unknown and my eyes water at the daunting uphill climb it will be cleaning out my damn room.
I have so much to do that this may very well be my last post until I get there. I'm sorry friends for the inconvenience. I got a lot going. Clearly. Moving 948.86 miles SOUTHEAST-ISH.
As of this second I'm stalling my room cleaning. I'm stalling and halting because I'm overwhelmed. I'm spinning so fast I want to throw up. This ain't no kiddie ride. Mockingbirds are waiting. But I'm crying. My eyes have been so swollen and blotchy all day. It's settling into reality now. It's making me anxious. It's uprooting my comfort level and replanting everything I know far far away.
.......fuck.......
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Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI've said it over and over again, but I will say it at least one hundred more times: I am so proud of you.
Even though I've sat here all day, crying and feeling sorry for myself because you won't be a 10minute/2hour drive away, I know that this is better. That this is what you need. That you are strong and amazing and motivated. That you're going to show those "Arkansasians" the Sarah I know, and that they're going to be blown away. Because you're spectacular and you're just what Arkansas needs. All 90 pounds of you!
I'm going to miss the hell out of you. I'm going to need you to download skype. And you're definitely going to have to keep me updated through texts and snail mail and many many random pictures, but know that 948.86 miles away, you have a forever and always best friend :)
This is just a new step in your life and our friendship and all of your relationships, it is by no means an end or a negative thing.
I LOVE YOU.
Thank you for this. It is exactly what I needed to hear, again. I've been crying all night wondering if I'm making a huge mistake. But I know I am ready for this. And that it's what I need. It's just way hard. You're my forever best friend. And I know this is a new beginning. I'm just already missing the hell out of you! I love you too. For come what may and all that is in between. You're my best friend. Forever and always. We're Len and Non.
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