Just as Much:

   I live from let down to let down.  I live for let downs. Truly. I'm quite despondent, dark, and stupid.  I catch a lead until it ends and I always know they end.
   Because who would want me like this?

   Love was not made for me.  Things won't change, because I'm so set in my ways and they are ugly. Different. Brooding. Forward and locked away.  How is this attractive?  Easy.It's.Not.


   I'm not apt to change, or find someone to stand still with me and not be frustrated or mad with me.  If there was a god, they wouldn't have made me like this. Genuinely Broken.  I'm just sick of coming up short and realizing I'm not even all the way out of the water when I try and take a breath in.


It's for the best though.  Waking up, day after day, fully knowing I'm painfully awkward and sharp.  Like a piece of glass.  And seasons change, years go by, and I am always alone. I will never wake up to something different, and this is me saying, I am growing okay with this. I hate people anyway.  Why let them in?